Are you a Lumbersexual? It’s like metrosexual, only the opposite!!

A new Man Trend has sent the think piece index soaring: Lumbersexuality. But what does this mean...to you? If you're ready, allow me to explain what it means to be Lumbersexual.

Introducing The Hot New Trend Among Men: “Lumbersexual”

Leather, denim, plaid, and flannel.

Beard.

Nature.

Wood.

lumbersexual men build their own dressers, know the secret location of wild blackberries, and have a beard that looks “long, bushy, and unkempt…”

So what sets lumbersexual men apart from lumberjacks?

Well, aside from not actually working in the logging industry, lumbersexual men have a CALCULATED look with the desire to be (and be seen) as rugged and the heteronormative version of “manly.”

In other words, it’s like Ron Swanson mixed with Ryan Gosling.

To facilitate an easy discussion, it might help you to think of a Lumbersexual as a foil to the Metrosexual, the alleged nadir of masculinity from last decade. So, instead of slim-legged pants, envision pants with a little extra leg room (see: "regular cut"). Rather than be clean-shaven, the Lumbersexual has an unkempt beard. The Metrosexual is clean and pretty and well-groomed;

the Lumbersexual spends the same amount of money, but looks filthy. Sartorially speaking, a Lumbersexual is a delicate tri-blend of L.L. Bean, Timberlake, and Sears. (Remember: Man Trends, and the thinkpiece index on which they are traded, bear only a glancing relationship to "real life" and "timeliness.")

But don't take my word for it. A website called GearJunkie ( "a top online publication for product reviews and news in the outdoors world" that "contains thousands of pages of content") the cognitive dissonance inherent to the Lumbersexual.

"He is bar-hopping, but he looks like he could fell a Norway Pine," writer Tom Puzak explains. "His backpack carries a MacBook Air, but looks like it should carry a lumberjack's axe." Wow!

See, what aligns the Lumbersexual with the Metrosexual is not the clothes or the skincare regimen, but rather intent—both kinds of men are working very hard to fashion themselves into a certain look, and presumably, a way of thinking: